This is going to be a hard one to write. I want to start a family. Soon. I have always known I would want to one day, but it was never with such a sense of urgency as when I truly saw the frailty of life within my parents last year. Since then, with bated breath, I have waited for when the time can come. It has gotten to the point where I obsess over it. I think about it all the time. I crave it. Some days it's hard to decipher whether the thought is my own or it's my grief and anxiety talking. I want a baby to show my parents I can do it. I want to see the same look of pride and affection on their faces when they hold their grandchild. I want to see them smile and be happy when I tell them the news. I want to see them dote over the baby and I want to see them teach the baby all the little things. I want them to see the milestones and be there. I want so so badly for this to happen. My brother said my dad's joy is my nephew. He is what keeps my dad going an...