I love when the weather gets warmer

I love when the weather gets warmer. A big part of why I love it is because of the feeling of nostalgia that comes with it. I can't explain it exactly, but it feels like there is something better out there. It feels like a summer full of possibilities and free of every damn worry in the world.

Even as I am sitting here now and the night air is only a smidge bit warmer than usual, I'm already feeling it. I catch myself getting a bit transported back to when we were 18 and high school had just finished. We had just started driving and drove everywhere in our parents' cars. We didn't have to wake up for school the next day and didn't have to study. For the first time ever, our parents were also so much more lenient and had finally relaxed their grips. We would go out, feel rebellious and feel like anything could happen in the night. We were about to go off and do things with our lives. 

I am also transported back to the summers in Europe. I am feeling the anticipation on the flight over and feeling like something spectacular and magical was going to happen to me. The feeling that there's this chance you're going to change and you're going to become Hilary Duff in The Lizzie McGuire Movie. Fuck, that feeling you might come back home a completely different person, because you were just that damn hopeful and optimistic about it all.

I am even transported back to the summers after Phil and I met, when we used to go on summer dates all the time. We would go for long drives, go to parties, never slept and just feel so young and alive.

I am transported back to a time where I was so carefree. In some ways I did care, but all I cared about was having fun and god, the worries were so trivial in retrospect. I really miss that. I miss being 18 and not having to worry about losing my parents. I miss not having to worry about not having enough time in the world to be with my family. These days, I'm constantly battling with wanting time to slow down so I can cherish everything with people I love and to have enough hours in the day to do the things I want to do. But I'm also battling for time to hurry the fuck up so I can achieve everything and show my parents just how much I can accomplish for them. 

I would give anything to have that feeling of being 18 and to have worries that were just so small...