I think casual relationships usually happen when both parties have recently fallen out of their respective long-term serious relationships. My thoughts are that both are craving the intimacy and familiarity of good company but may not be emotionally ready or in the head space for commitment. What culminates can be fun times and a growing friendship. You can kick back and enjoy the rush of getting to know someone, without the urgency to define what you are or could not be together. No fights, no expectations, no games.
What my recent situation has made me realise is how different relationships are as you get older. Although we both set out on casual terms and conditions, our discussions would somehow find their way back to the topic of where we were heading...As we moved along, we realised how very misaligned our heads and hearts were in this particular point in time. Crazy huh? The human heart will always want something real, even if we trick ourselves into believing otherwise.
Where I'm used to looking at things through short-term/near future lenses, I had to dig to the very grit and bottom of this to ask myself bigger picture questions. Together, we had to assess whether it was commitment worthy and probable to survive. We had to ask ourselves questions like - is there a future there? Would we be forever? As you would guess, the answers were sadly no. So at this point, it all began to unravel rather rapidly and we made the decision to end it. The good news is we have dealt with it and subsequently, there's a friendship there to fall back on.
Who knows what will happen next?
It's been a great month or so for me and the result was I was actually feeling comfortable and at peace for the first time in ages. Sometimes things can be just as simple as that - if it makes you happy, then that's all you need to know. Sometimes you really don't need to make any grandiose plans or promise the world to someone.
But then it's also important to not get swept away in the excitement.
The fundamental truth is that casual isn't built to last and when the end comes, it's going to be just as swift as the way it started. You need to understand that when you agree to enter something like this, that you're ready to pull yourself away the minute it breaks apart.
But then it's also important to not get swept away in the excitement.
The fundamental truth is that casual isn't built to last and when the end comes, it's going to be just as swift as the way it started. You need to understand that when you agree to enter something like this, that you're ready to pull yourself away the minute it breaks apart.
What my recent situation has made me realise is how different relationships are as you get older. Although we both set out on casual terms and conditions, our discussions would somehow find their way back to the topic of where we were heading...As we moved along, we realised how very misaligned our heads and hearts were in this particular point in time. Crazy huh? The human heart will always want something real, even if we trick ourselves into believing otherwise.
Where I'm used to looking at things through short-term/near future lenses, I had to dig to the very grit and bottom of this to ask myself bigger picture questions. Together, we had to assess whether it was commitment worthy and probable to survive. We had to ask ourselves questions like - is there a future there? Would we be forever? As you would guess, the answers were sadly no. So at this point, it all began to unravel rather rapidly and we made the decision to end it. The good news is we have dealt with it and subsequently, there's a friendship there to fall back on.
Who knows what will happen next?
How did this go?
ReplyDeleteAmazing, this is a great article! I did enjoyed reading it, keep your post.
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