Sleepy, nostalgic Saturday nights. Post wisdom teeth surgery has left me stranded at home with my own thoughts. Hence, begins the painfully tiresome dig into past journal entries from a lifetime ago...
16/06/11 There was a night where we'd travelled for hours on a bus, got off and went on another. We were lost and had been traveling all day. Sticky, tired and stressed, we lugged our luggage and wandered down this highway at night. Night lights all around in the distance, cool breeze blowing in the crisp summer air...you stopped and kissed me. Hundreds of cars zoomed past us, and you said 'this is to keep me going'. So warm inside. As icky and gross I had felt that day, that moment could not have been better. I first arrived with the same suitcases in tow - just as sticky, tired and stressed. But when I left, I had you by me to share all that with. |
I'm going to just lie in bed tonight. I will wear your shirt and close my eyes to try and imagine you here.
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And I will say this to you:
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I don't know what happened, what changed. I just know somewhere something changed in the both of us. We have tried so hard and it is unfair that we are losing this fight, but I feel no resentment because this has always been beautiful.
The simple fact is that I love you with all my heart and soul. But for some god forsaken reason, whether that be due to time, space or fate, it is not enough. Our magic is not enough right now to keep this afloat.
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