April Blues

Last few weeks have been a bit of an emotional hell-hole.

Work is crazy busy - a lot of 13 hour days and head-banging moments. 

Ex boyfriend, Cosmin, has been a complete fucking psycho. Last week resulted in me finally sending to him my approx. 400 page email. Rant off my chest and basically just me begging him to please stay away from me. I've given everything he thinks I owe him back, so I am just praying to god, this is the end of it all.  

Yes, it does hurt. Of course it hurts when someone you once cared so much for, can say things to you like how they wish they had never met you and regret ever being with you. But what can you do? 

And I've just been scattered all over the place.

I've recently started 'dating' again. I don't know if 'again' is the right word to use, since I've never actually 'dated' before. For as long as I remember, I've always been in either flings or straight into relationships. Anything during my teenage years doesn't really count and anything after that was quite insignificant and lackluster to say the least. Then of course, came along Cosmin, who passionately swept me off my feet and we became so embroiled with each other that I don't think we ever got the chance or time to really play the dating game. 

So now here I am...

From me to you: the dating world is fucking scary. It's exhausting, awkward and confusing. I'm about 3 weeks into my official declaration of joining this world and I'm feel like my patience and dignity is wearing thin...It's just so fucking time-consuming and tiring. But I'll keep you posted, should anything interesting happen...